I had a clinic today in Letterkenny hospital. I was relieved that my maintenance medicine (low dose chemotherapy) was started. The drug will be Velcade, the main chemo agent that was used to bring about the first remission after the cancer was first diagnosed in 2013; it was also used last October when the cancer returned. I was given a staggering dose of 20 steroid tablets after I got the injection. These steroids act as a stimulant so I hope I will get to sleep at a reasonable hour tonight. I will receive Velcade injections for the next 3 Wednesdays followed by two months of no treatment (but with regular checkups). Then they will review future treatment based on how my blood results are.
Recently I was speaking to a person who told me that they were depressed and didn’t know what to do. I searched within for something to say in response and came up with nothing more than my granny’s (affectionately known as Mrs Breen) favourite prayer: SACRED HEART OF JESUS, I PLACE ALL MY TRUST IN YOU.
In today’s Office of Readings we have a letter written from death row by the Reformation martyr St Thomas More (*1477 +1535) to his daughter. His total trust in Jesus shines through.
I will not mistrust him, Meg, though I shall feel myself weakening and on the verge of being overcome with fear. I shall remember how Saint Peter at a blast of wind began to sink because of his lack of faith, and I shall do as he did: call upon Christ and pray to him for help. And then I trust he shall place his holy hand on me and in the stormy seas hold me up from drowning.
And finally, Margaret, I know this well: that without my fault he will not let me be lost. I shall, therefore, with good hope commit myself wholly to him. And if he permits me to perish for my faults, then I shall serve as praise for his justice. But in good faith, Meg, I trust that his tender pity shall keep my poor soul safe and make me commend his mercy.
And, therefore, my own good daughter, do not let your mind be troubled over anything that shall happen to me in this world. Nothing can come but what God wills. And I am very sure that whatever that be, however bad it may seem, it shall indeed be the best.
It is also interesting to see his belief that his trials will benefit his purification in Purgatory and increase his glory in heaven:
By the merits of his bitter passion joined to mine and far surpassing in merit for me all that I can suffer myself, his bounteous goodness shall release me from the pains of purgatory and shall increase my reward in heaven besides.